After sitting in a seminar all weekend that dove deep into the human psyche and the meaning that we tie to our thoughts and emotions, I started having some revelations about how our money relates to us as human beings, living this thing we call life.
To put it simply, IT DOESN’T.
I know you’re probably thinking, “then what the hell am I working so hard for?!”
Listen, I’m not discounting the fact that we need money to survive life and that having more money CAN bring happiness and fulfillment, but where we often have it wrong, is that money is NOT what defines us.
Having a lot of money doesn’t make you a better person, and being in debt does not make you a bad person. We often feel EMOTIONS around our money situation that in turn we make MEAN something about us as humans. It’s made up in our head! We give meaning where meaning is not needed. We shame ourselves for bad financial decisions and boast ourselves for good ones. But in actuality, it means absolutely nothing about us as people.
At your funeral, I guarantee that no one is going to say, “gosh, s/he was such a great person because they made a ton of money!” OR “gosh, s/he was such a shitty person because they were in credit card debt.”
So, take the pressure off of yourself!
Money is a tool and a currency, it is NOT a human success or failure measuring stick. We are so damn concerned with what people think of us, looking good and avoiding looking bad that sometimes we forget who we are as people, the value that we add to the world, and even how we even view ourselves. No amount of money will add to self-worth. That is something that comes completely removed from money.
I know plenty of wealthy people who make millions of dollars a year that are completely miserable! Living and paying for lives that they don’t even want or aren’t happy with. On the flipside, I know plenty of people that are wealthy and extremely happy as well. AND I know people that make very average salaries (US average salary as reference) and are happy as can be.
So, what’s the difference?
Those that are deliberate as to WHY they are working and what they would like their money for (typically for the greater good) tend to live happier lives than those who just work for “more money” to buy more things without intention or purpose.
“When I have more money, THEN I’ll really be happy.”
Yeah. It doesn’t work that way! We have the equation wrong. “When… then…” doesn’t work. Life is TODAY. It’s happening RIGHT NOW and having the “when/then” mentality will cause you to miss out on all of the wonderful things happening in the present. You’ll always be chasing.
Taking the time to be intentional about the money that you have today (not the promise of more money in the future) will bring more happiness and joy overall. Set your life up like you are never going to make more money and learn to be happy with what you have. Then, when you DO make/have more money you’ll be more grounded for those times. Perhaps you’ll actually even attract more money that way as well.
Understanding your values around money is the key ingredient. What are you spending your money on, saving your money for and WHY? These answers will be very different for everyone. Living by someone else’s standard of “success” or by their values is a sure-fired way of ensuring a very unsatisfying and unfulfilling life. This isn’t about anyone else or what makes them happy.
How you spend your time is how you spend your money. Having “money problems” is typically just a symptom of something being out of alignment with this equation. If you highly value travel and adventure and you’re spending all of your time and money on eating out or drinking at the bars, then that’s your “problem”. It’s not the money, that’s just what takes the blame. Acting outside of your values and authenticity creates internal tension and rift.
There is plenty of money to go around! And you are enough to attract the kind of wealth that you desire. Just start to look at the equation in a different way and focus on being happy and joyous today.
And remember that you ≠ your money.
Liked this blog? It was written by WalletGyde’s new financial mindset coach, Jordan Youngblade! Her philosophy is it’s not always about having MORE money – it’s about how you view and use your money. She will completely transform your money and LIFE through her process! Stay tuned, she will be sharing her expertise all month!